I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
