those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
