so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
