turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
