Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
did you just send me my own nude
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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