I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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