i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
