This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
