I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am available for nakedness
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
