I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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