i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
