I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
