I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
