Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
