watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
