Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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