I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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