So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
