Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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