Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
