when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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