Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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