ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
