I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
