Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
