i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
