Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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