bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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