the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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