He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize