Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
