There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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