I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
