Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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