You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
