The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize