I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
