I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
