i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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