What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Boobs speak an international language.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
