you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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