so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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