Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
