i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
