New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
