She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
