So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
