Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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