It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
