I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
